Thursday, August 2, 2012
I know I know I know, I am behind on my promises. I owe you the continuation of our exchange student story and a report on my latest hubby experiment. Let’s start with the second promise (yes I like to be different and start with the second thing on a list): the experiment.
So even though I am way behind, I was able to pull off four of the corny tasks that I set myself to do. Here they are:
· Text him at work that you were just thinking about what a great man he is and that thinking of him made you smile: I did and He texted back: “Little Doggie (he calls me that :P) I also love you sooooooooo much” ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Maybe this experiment is not so bad after all…maybe this is the kind of thing that a husband appreciates!
· Take a photo of yourself with your kids and text it to him with the caption "Hi, from your fan club": The only kid we have is Babu, so I took a picture of me, cuddling with our four legged little girl and sent it to him with the suggested caption while he was on his way back home from work….I waited and waited and no reply. When he got home I asked him, did you get my text? He said “yes”, “Are you going to reply?” I enquired….. His texting reply (while sitting right next to me) was: YES…WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????? He obviously has to be in the right state of mind for this kind of corniness…..whatever dude, your fan club just lost two members (just kidding)!
· Send him an email just to say you love him and appreciate him: Again, I did and I got a good short and to the point reply: “I love you too” I take it!!
· Put the kids to bed a little early and offer him a head massage. Lay him back in your lap and rub his scalp and forehead. Dab some sweet perfume on your wrists before you start: Again, not kids to worry. I didn’t really plan this one but one night when we were lying in bed I happended to touch his head and he immediately asked for a head massage, one of his favorite things in the world. I usually say OK and scratch his head for about 5 minutes and then I am done. Not this time, this time I did it the pro way: scratching and massaging, giving him the whole works. There wasn’t a square inch on his round head that didn’t get the treatment. It lasted for a long time…at least 20 minutes. Of course one can never get enough of a good head massage (I LOVE them as well) so even though I put my best effort forward, he still asked: you are done? So soon?
So mixed reviews on this experiment so far. It is obvious that I picked the easiest and less corny tasks to start, but it does come to prove that the little things and gestures do make a difference when it comes to relationships. This is not a lesson learned for me because I have known this for a looooooooooooonnggggggg time….why don’t I do it more often you ask? Cause I am lame and lazy I suppose and like many spouses I start taking my amazingly handsome hubby for granted. At least I have 26 more tasks to go so the good news is that there will be no taking for granted in the next few days J
Moving on to our exchange student:
So before we picked up our student I typed a piece of paper with all kinds of useful information (phone numbers, addresses, directions, instructions, a hilarious joke) and left it on his bed. Pablo congratulated me for the great idea but made sure to tell me that next time we should be more professional and laminate it……….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OK!!!?? What about getting wasted with the student or taking him to a jell-o wrestling match or to an adult kickball game…how professional is that!!! (Anyway I am getting ahead of myself)
We picked up Jonas (23) at the airport on a Sunday and he is super cute! Feels like we have a new son and we love him and his little broken English immediately. He is super friendly and social, so much so that by Monday he already had a better social life than we do. During the weeks that followed we didn’t really get to see him that much because he felt in love with Vegas (spent two weeks there) and like I said before he was too busy making friends to spend time with his old host parents. I am proud of the fact that when we did hang out we were good sources of cultural information for our Swiss boy. For example: When he asked: “why do Americans have so many trucks?” we explained that Americans just like big stuff. When asked if he could really have unlimited refills at restaurants we replied: “YES!” is one of the reasons Francesca decided to stay forever. When he asked: “what is the difference between “maybe”, “perhaps” and “I might?” we replied: “I have no idea.” So yeah, we did make a difference in somebody’s life and it feels awesome. Plus like I said before we taught him to play adult kickball, took him to his first MMA fight, and invited him to my dog’s birthday party and to my debut as a jell-o wrestler. I am pretty sure he will not forget this experience any time soon. Neither will we Jonas, neither will we J
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
It’s been a while since I actually experimented on P…it’s time (after all the title of the blog is The Hubby EXPERIMENT for a reason). So here is the experiment:
While trying to find other Hubby Experiment impostors online, I came across a Christian blog called “Sweet tea” by Lori Frank (not an impostor by the way). On one of her posts, the author asks her readers to participate on a 30 day challenge that contains 30 daily tasks or gestures to perform on your husband to show your appreciation. All of the 30 things are very sweet and on paper look like something that a good wife would do…HOWEVER, they are also pretty corny and I am sure that P will be more confused than amused when I execute this experiment on him. PERFECT! THIS IS GOING TO BE HILARIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Starting today, the experiment begins. I don’t know that I can wait 30 days so I will probably end up doing a couple of tasks each day. I am also not going to do this in order (I will pick whichever is more convenient at the time) I will report on my progress every few days wuaaaaaaaaahahahahaha.
If you feel so inclined, please join me and conduct your own experiment on your spouse/significant other (doesn’t have to be a husband; boyfriends, girlfriends, wives will work just as well) and share the findings. Here is the link to the blog:
And these are the daily tasks:1. When he's in the shower pull back the curtain and in a flirty voice tell him he's looking especially hunky today. Give him a little smack on the booty and thank him for starting your day with a smile.
2. Put the kids to bed a little early and offer him a head massage. Lay him back in your lap and rub his scalp and forehead. Dab some sweet perfume on your wrists before you start.
3. When he gets home from work, stop whatever you are doing long enough to look at him, smile with your whole face and go over and kiss him. Smile again. Say "I missed you today, welcome home!"
4. Text him at work that you were just thinking about what a great man he is and that thinking of him made you smile.
5. Download a sappy love song off itunes leave a post it note on his ipod saying it expresses just how you feel about him.
6. Ask him before he leaves for work if there is anything you can do to make his day smoother or any errands you could run for him.
7. Take a photo of yourself with your kids and text it to him with the caption "Hi, from your fan club".
8. When his alarm goes off tell him thank you and that you love him for being a "hard working man".
9. Offer to watch some golf or football or whatever he would like after dinner. Give him one whole night with nothing negative to deal with.
10. Pick out his favorite kind of gum and leave a pack of it by his wallet with a note that says "I still chews you".
11. Post something awesome about him on Facebook and tag him in it so he knows you did it.
12. Make his favorite dish and tell him you did it because you were thinking about how you appreciate all he does for the family.
13. Brag on him to the kids about something he does that you appreciate. Let him hear you say it.
14. Buy him a new pair of boxers and say, "I got you something today. I just thought they would look incredible on you." *wink wink*
15. Raise up his shirt and scratch his back with your nails until he gets the chills.
16. Suggest he spend time on his day off doing something he enjoys without making him feel guilty.
17. Suggest the two of you go and do something he likes to do... Go shoot at a shooting range, go to the driving range, take a hike, or sit in the deer stand. You could also suggest a movie he's been talking about.
18. Take the kids out for pizza on Saturday or Sunday and suggest he takes an afternoon nap. Turn off the phones.
19. Get up a little earlier than him and make a big hearty breakfast for him or wake him up with coffee or fresh squeezed juice in bed.
20. Hug him and tell him how good he smells before he leaves for work.
21. Make his favorite dessert and send it to work with him to share with all his coworkers.
22. Write the word "Handsome" with and arrow pointing at his reflection in your bathroom mirror. Dry erase markers work perfect for this.
23. Leave him a post it on his steering wheel wishing him a good day and smiley face.
24. Send him an email just to say you love him and appreciate him.
25. Do one of his regular household chores for him.
26. Offer him a back rub.
27. Bend over and kiss his neck when he's on the computer. Exhale warm breath in his ear.
29. Don't pick up or check your phone when you are together .
30. Say yes when it would be easier to say no.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
I know I owe you Part Numero Dos of the Exchange Student Story, but I would like to take a little detour to talk about Karma. We all know that it’s a bitch! You do wrong and sooner or later you will have to repay for your naughtiness. Plain and simple. This is a fair universal law that applies to everyone equally and in my humble opinion, it is OK to feel a little bit of joy when it affects an a-hole whose a-holeness was applied directly to you. But what about when the victim of bad Karma is somebody who you deeply care about, somebody that has a special place in your heart. What if such a person did something jerk like to you and Karma came right back to bite him/her in the ass. Should you feel joyous about that? HELL YEAH!
It was Saturday night a couple of weeks ago and we were having a jolly good time at a bar close to the beach, watching UFC fight 148, Silva vs. some other scary looking dude. We were all (P, me and a group of friends) taking advantage of the late night happy hour, two for one special, double fisting drinks and just partying it up. When the night was over, hubby and I assessed the going home situation and it was clear that I was in the better intoxication condition, which made me the obvious choice for a designated driver. We walked to HIS car, he handed me the keys, I put them in the ignition, pulled and disengaged the hand brake…..tried again, pulled and disengaged the hand emergency brake…..oh oh this thing is stuck…..let me push a little harder…..crap it is stuck all the way up now…..this thing is not going anywhere…..crap WE are stuck and not going anywhere.
So it is evident I have done something stupid by pulling the hand brake wayyyy to much and making it stuck and I feel terrible about it. As a girl let me explain that I don’t feel comfortable dealing with mechanical stuff anyway. Driving a car that I am not used to is already kind of freaky to me and it always makes me feel retarded and uncomfortable. So breaking somebody else’s vehicle increases the feeling of retardation by a trillion percent and makes me feel really horrible about it. “P, I know how much you love your baby Volvo (is right up there with soccer, beer and everything Dutch) so I would never ever break in on purpose! I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” Apologies didn’t matter; I had broken something pretty much considered holly by P right after he was done watching a carnage in the octagon while double fisting beers. I had no chance of escaping this one without a ….how shall I put it….STRONG vocal reprimand. And I did, I heard about it while we both pounded on the stupid handle for an hour, while we looked for solutions on our iPhones, while trying to catch a cab and all the way home. No doubt I will never pull so hard on the brake handle EVEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AGAINN.
On Sunday morning, when we were friends and loved each other again, we went to pick up the car to see if we could release the stupid thing and for some crazy miracle P did it on the first try….whatever….something fishy was going on!
The next day I woke up early to go to work and on my way there I got a call from P. As I pick up my cell phone, he shyly utters the sweetest words that could have ever left his mouth: “Baby, can you turn around, pick me up and drop me off at work? I tried to release the emergency brake and now it is stuck and the car won’t move.” “HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!” I think to myself “REDEMPTION AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ISN’T KARMA A BITCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
So it turns out I am not the only Master of the Ink and Paper around the office….well more like Master of the Keyboard and Microsoft Word software…I suppose. Yesterday, while having a “very important” conversation at her office, I found out that one of my amazing girlfriends is a kick ass, very entertaining and talented writer as well (yes as well cause I am cocky enough to describe myself as that too). My dear Kylie, I thought you rocked before, now I might just have to start a fan club. Anyway, she was kind enough to write a guest post on my blog and here it is! I LOVE IT and I think we can all relateJ. Thank you very mucho KK and the rest of you: ENJOY!Finally headed home from the office in the safety of my car, I reflect on the day. It’s left me heavy-laden and down-trodden. Not even the thought of a glass of chilled Chardonnay is enough to break me from my funk. I continue on, considering my options. Ice cream? It’ll make me fat. A DIY pedi? I can’t reach my toes because I’m too fat from all the ice cream I’ve eaten. No. There’s nothi...ng I can do that is going to make anything better! But then, an idea. Like a small glimmer of hope it floats into my mind’s eye. A nice, long, hot shower. The steam might make me sweat, so I’ll get skinny. And I’m definitely not too fat to fit in the stall (yet). Yes. A hot shower. It won’t judge me. It won’t yell at me. I can be at peace. Giddy with the knowledge of what’s to come, I pull into the garage and make a bee-line to the master bathroom.
I anxiously begin to run the water. It never gets hot fast enough! As I wait impatiently for the water to heat so I can begin my moment of relaxation, I mindlessly pick at the countertop. Glancing into the mirror I notice my bangs have grown past my nose, my usual marker for when they need trimming. Now is as good a time as any, I muse and reach for my scissors. They seem to have been misplaced but, no matter, my manicure scissors will do nicely. It’s just a quick trim, afterall.
I begin my usual process of securing my hair with a ponytail holder and separating my bangs from the pack. Hmmm…they are out of control. Holding my bangs with one hand, like I have seen my hairdresser do, I snip slowly in a downwards motion. I smile smugly, remembering the praise my hairdresser bestowed upon me my last visit, “You didn’t do too bad of a job. They’re not crooked or anything, but that’s why I do bang trims for free.” Pft. Why would I not pay to do something I can do myself for free? I frown at my logic, but bring my focus back to the task at hand. I squint my eyes and peer at myself in the mirror, scissors tapping against my lips, “now, I know how I want it to look, so maybe if I just do like this…” One snip and…perfection. Confidence boosted by my apparently innate ability to cut my own hair, I continue on. Soon, my bangs have more swagger than a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. I smile happily at my work and prepare to get into that shower I have been waiting for!
But wait…I catch something out of the corner of my eye. What is that? Hmmm…a rogue hair. It doesn’t quite look right. I quickly take down my hair and run my fingers through it, trying to blend it into my bang masterpiece. This one hair seems too long. I’ll cut it. Now it doesn’t match the other side. I cut that one, too. It’s kind of poofing out over here. I know my hairdresser thins it out, so I’ll just try that, even though I’m not quite sure how. Slowly, I begin to see more and more hairs that don’t belong. But it’s okay, because I have scissors. And my hairdresser said I’m a natural. As the mirrors begin to steam from the increasingly hot water pouring from my waterfall showerhead, I see a determination, nay a madness creeping into my eyes. My cutting hand begins to shake as I hack away at the helpless strands. I can’t stop and a tear falls from my eye. What am I doing?! I can’t stop! I don’t want to stop! A sadistic smile crosses my lips as I squeal in delight at the adrenaline this obsession is giving me. I shake my head as to clear the insanity. Suddenly, just as soon as it all started, my hands to drop to the counter, my chest heaving in some sort of confusion mixed with euphoria, my hand still curled around the tiny manicure scissors. In an instant, I realize what I have done.
I examine the scissors and drop them as if they were a ball of rock from hell itself. They land with a sickening thud in the porcelain sink. And then I see it. The result of my madness. The carnage is sickening and I have to cover my mouth to keep from vomiting. Oh dear, Lord. What have I done? What have I done?! I glance around quickly to see if anyone has witnessed this massacre. No one is there. If I just clean it up, no one will know. I grab a plastic bag and begin to shovel the remains into the opening. I hurry downstairs and quickly toss the evidence into the big plastic WM bin. I stumble back to the bathroom and into the shower, blinded by the agony of what I have just done. The hot water feels like blades of judgment against my bare flesh. I hold myself as I rock back and forth, whimpering, afraid and alone. What if someone finds out? Someone is bound to notice what I’ve done. I cry out in anguish. And then…a small but firm voice speaks to me in my darkness, “We’ll just cover it up.”
My head jerks up. “What? Who was that?” I ask myself as I look around. “We’ll just cover it up,” I hear again. Willing to explore any and every option I have I timidly reply, “How?” I hear a snicker in response, “With mousse and hairspray, of course. No one will ever know.” My lips curl into a frightening grin. “Yes, yes,” I say out loud, “no one will ever know.”
I quickly turn off the water, empowered by this course I am taking, well aware that I cannot turn back now. I step out of the shower and clear the fog from the mirrors. The person I see staring back at me is unrecognizable. My actions this night have changed me. My face hardened with resolve, I reach into my drawer and begin pulling out the equipment that will save me. A broken chuckle escapes my mouth as I begin to understand what I am about to do, what I need to do. No turning back now. I run the first glob of mousse through my hair and turn on the blow dryer.
The hum of the blow dryer is comforting. I never want to leave this place. I never want to go back to what I was before. But I know I must. I turn of the dryer and slowly lift my head. As I begin to examine my work, my eyes become wild with the realization that I’ve done it. I hear a haunting laugh and wonder where it’s coming from. Only, it’s coming from me, “I did it. No one will ever know. They’ll never know.” A cruel smile of triumph crosses my lips. I hear a shadow of a voice, “They’ll find out. They’ll know what you’ve done.” I scoff as I shut the medicine cabinet door with a decided thud and shake my head. Glancing into the mirror I reply, “No. No they won’t.”
As I laugh in delight I move closer to the mirror to examine my work. Perfection. Utter perfection. My brows are a bit overgrown, but other than that. It’s amazing. I mean, that one is kind of sticking out. Now they’re really bothering me. Especially that one that’s making it look like I have a uni-brow. Maybe if I just get that one…
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Back in February P and I had the chance to experience the biggest party on earth at the 2012 Rio Carnival. As you can imagine it was the experience of a life time. We partied our butts off; meet a ton of cool and fun people from all over the world and had just an incredible time. I will never forget this experience with my husband (I posted the pictures on another blog if you want to check them out) and I wish and pray that we get to spend more times like this many more times in the future.
One of the highlights of our trip was Casa Cool Beans (www.casacoolbeans.com), the most amazing bed and breakfast that anyone can ever experience!!! Located in the artsy neighborhood of Santa Teresa this incredibly cozy place, owned by Lance, David and their dog Mousse, was by far the best hotel experience we’ve ever had. We woke up every day to a fresh breakfast buffet and were greeted by the extremely friendly hosts who gave us suggestions about their favorite places in the area. Our bedroom was beautiful and romantic and the entire place was just a piece of art. They even gave me a necklace before I left (every lady guest got one), a necklace! When was the last time a hotel gave you a necklace as a token of appreciation for staying with them. Pretty sure NEVER!
|Casa Cool Beans Breakfast|
|Casa Cool Beans|
|Our romantic room at Casa Cool Beans|
We were so enchanted with the place that we decided that one day we would love to have something like it, where we could be the hosts, meet people from all over the world and make them as happy and welcomed as Casa Cool Beans made us feel. This is when P decided that “we” needed to make some research and perhaps start small in our own apartment in San Diego by hosting an international student to gain experience and to see if we had it in us. And by “we” he obviously meant, you (me). So I did, I looked into some local English language schools and emailed them asking about hosting a student for a few weeks, as practice for our future hostel/bed and breakfast venture. A couple emailed me back with some information but other than that no one really got back to me. I figured that perhaps we weren’t creepy enough to be host parents (I will tell you about my own creepy host parent experience at the age of 15 some other time) so after a couple of weeks I completely forgot about it. Then, about a month ago (three months after I enquired) I got a call from one of the schools telling me that they desperately needed to place a student who had signed up at the last minute and who was coming to the U.S. in two weeks. Apparently they had run out of creepy couples so they had no choice but to ask for our help!!! YAAAAAAY! Not only that, they wanted to pay us $1500 for our troubles….are you kidding me, heck yeah send us the kid, we will be ready, two weeks is plenty of time!
Two weeks weren't enough and of course we weren’t ready because, “the kid” was going to have to sleep on the only extra room that we have: the man cave, which I have talked about in past blogs and described as not being very tidy by any regular human being standards. So of course as good last minute Latin Americans we hustle the day before our guest’s arrival and ….how should I put it…hid? P’s s…..tuff anywhere we could since of course nothing must be thrown away, these are valuable things even if we didn’t remember having them. Our friend Melvyn was gracious enough to help us and as the good guy friend he is, he took the time to congratulate P on his awesome untouched, unread collection of National Geographics that has been boxed and moved 13 million times during the 9 years that we have been together J “Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,” P said. “And you wanted to get rid of them!!!!” Thanks Melvyn!
After an arduous day of cleaning the room was finally ready and it looked niiiiiiiiiiiiceeeeeee. We were ready for the arrival of our 23 year old Swiss student who we knew nothing about. How exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (to be continued…..)
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
When it comes to being skinny, I have the worst genes. I smell food and I get fat. I have been on a diet as far as I can remember and when looking back at my childhood I always think about the dysfunctional relationship that my entire family has with food. When I was ten, I went to the nutritionist for the first time. That’s when they found out I had high cholesterol…yes at 10. My brother and I went to about three of them afterwards so I consider myself pretty knowledgeable when it comes to the number of calories in food, how much fat, and sodium blab la bla. That whole experience has ruined food for me forever. Food to me = getting fat. There have been times in my life when try not to care and eat whatever I want, but most of the time I feel really guilty about it afterwards. Is awful….but oh well, it is what it is.
The reason I bring this up is because being on a diet is not big deal for me. I’ve done it all my life. Fat every couple of years, anorexic the next one, super fit after, back to chubby……I am not surprised when I try on a pair of jeans that I haven’t worn in a while and I realize that they don’t longer fit me . It sucks buts its happened to me so many times I’ve almost come to expect it every couple of years…anyway that is why it was so funny for me to see the face of somebody who gets to experience this for the very first time in their lives: “What the hell is going on! This shirt is new, did you shrink it when you washed it???!! Why does it fit so tight????!!!!”…oh yes, poor little P (or should I say not so little anymore hahahaha!!!!!!!!)
When it comes to food, my husband is one of those annoying “normal” people who has never had to deal with his weight, eats when is hungry and stops when he is full. Most of the times when I tell him: “hey, let’s go eat ice cream!” His reply is: “no thanks, I am not hungry.” I am not hungry??????!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not hungry??????!!!!!!!!!! What does that have to do with anything!!! IS ICE CREAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM, U DON’T HAVE TO BE HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
The first time I took him home for dinner with my family, my mom kept on asking him if he didn’t like the food. We were all done eating and he was still not half way finished. His reply: No, is great, I just eat at normal speed (unlike you crazy people who devour everything in 5 seconds). He is full, he stops, even if there is one bite left on the plate…when that happens guess who ends up picking it up with the fork (hey there are kids starving in Africa). The first time we went to IHOP he got up to go to the bathroom and when he came back his remaining pancake was gone, he was crashed as he had been saving the middle part (the best part according to him) for last. WHO GOES TO THE BATHROOM UNLESS THEY ARE DONE EATING!!!!!!!!!! I’m sorry; I thought you were finished dude! I wasn’t going to let the waitress take it…plus the middle part looked extra delicious!....yeah I ate it.
A few weeks ago we were getting ready to go out with our friends and the shirt incident occurred. His face was priceless. I’ll be honest; I kind of felt a little joy inside when I witnessed this, especially because I happen to be going through a skinny year. Yes, I admit it I am jealous of those no –work, no-effort skinny people, so I do get some satisfaction when they finally get a taste of my life long agony…..even when it is my own husband (I know I am horrible, but honest)
So like most beginner weight gainers, P attributed this incident to clothing shrinkage or perhaps being a bit bloated or whatever excuse would serve as a denial. But one can’t live in denial forever, because it wasn’t just the one shirt, it was also a couple of jeans and pants….and oh yeah my constant mocking probably didn’t help either. This whole situation led to something I never thought I would hear in my entire life. P declared this weekend: “Honey, my belly is getting gross, I think I need to cut back on the beer. From now on I will only drink it on the weekends”……WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT did I hear correctly??? So yeah, he hasn’t drank beer at all this week and we actually went for a run together yesterday after work (he decided not to wear socks and got blisters all over but that is another funny story for another funny blog). It was awesome! We plan on running three times a week together from now on and maybe doing some other workouts here and there. I am excited!!!!!!!!!!
This means no more mocking from now on, only encouragement and motivation . After all I know how much is sucks to struggle with weight and I don’t really want P to have to go through that. I rather have him hot looking, happy, “normal” and fit, just like I’m used to.